Without parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents or anyone significant in our lives to help us deal with this crisis, it made my already difficult life, now impossible.
Never mind the financial ramifications of losing job after job for taking too many sick days, and not even being able to attend school,
But imagine what that does to ones self esteem? How it felt to face my friends, who were all graduating college and marrying successful men and starting families on a comfortable living.
Oooh how I longed for that life. I watched with envy, feeling like Alice staring in from the other side of the looking glass where I lived in an ever darkening world that was closing in around me...
And this was just as I began to fall down the rabbit hole, before the diagnosis.
I was sick far too much, Catching every bug that went around and my weakened immune system did not seem to fight it off before the next bug hit.
Doctors wanted to blame it on depression, quickly prescribing yet one more SSRI to mess with the brain chemistry going on.
Why is it that a doctor needs all this "proof" to justify certain testing, yet no evidence whatsoever to make a hasty diagnosis of depression, and then treat it with a drug that he does not know will work?
I'd like to take this moment to declare that if I was not depressed before, this was enough to drive me to it. :)
Today's logic (shaking head)
This was the beginning of the road to despair, and wound up with me wearing pink underwear and black and white stripes in the not-so-sought after Miracopa County Jail run by Sherrif Joe Arpaio himself. .. An experience I involuntarily relive at night when the world sleeps.
Comments below
ReplyDeletethere's always a weak nigga who you can compare you life too,
ReplyDeleteno man is a island
Ive learned do you best not to compare you self to anyone else.
People got opinions,
options are based about from life experience and
not many people experience life from a downed foundational point of view. So when it come the moment for them to life the life of that friend/neighbour/family member/spouse/parent/role model/ teacher, they tend to fall apart and the other people who comprehend it can either look and laugh and smile knowing that the table turned or they can take from what was learned and use it to make sure that other one dont got to walk down that same road.
Its not hard to laugh, its the best medicine, at least thats the joking statement i've heard.
yet i was always taught by my dad, there history/herstory and the truth, meaning there are always three sides. Like a triangle, two sides balance to one point and that one point hold.
life been hard, I get that, maybe not are hard maybe so, im not comparing, just take the moments to remember you were sent here to do something and that just like any movie, it tends to need to begin with some folk being already screwed so that whoever's watching can keep intrest
Use DuckDuckGo.com and search the Great Divine Director
(and like Rafiki, ill paraphrase ' Pray HARDA!'